Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Not what I expected...

          As Michele and I left for Austin Thursday night I knew we were going to have a great weekend. I never knew it would change my life so profoundly. Sitting in class on day one I remember looking around the room and thinking how familiar so many of the women looked. Call it kindred spirits or whatever you want but I now know we were all suppose to be there. Great or small, we were meant to impact each others lives in some way.

         I was so inspired by many of their stories. Like the woman who induced lactation to breastfeed her adopted son. A woman who spent a year of her life volunteering in Africa helping women and children affected by the Aids crisis. The women who pushed for 6 hours to achieve her dream of a home birth. Or the woman who's home birth ended in an emergency c-section yet doesn't dwell on the blame or “what if's”. I met so many amazing women but I thought a lot about these women in particular. About how strong they are and how much they have over come. For the first time in a long time, I thought maybe I could be that strong. Maybe I can finally deal with all the pain I have been harboring from my own birth. I had never even considered the fact that I could process those feelings, let alone heal them. It didn't happen all at once, but with each thing said I let go a little bit and began to heal. Today when I think of David's birth I can think of what a wonderful day it truly was and how much I have learned. Part of me is still a little sad over what I missed out on but I am not angry and I have hope for the future.

         Aside from all the healing I accomplished this weekend I also learned a lot. I'm sure as I look back and reflect I'll remember much more that I have learn, but for now here are some key points.

  • Faith in someone and encouragement can take them farther then they ever thought they could go.
  • Believe in the power of a woman, especially when she herself forgets.
  • As Doulas we are taught to unconditionally   support people emotionally. Applying this in your everyday life can move mountains.
  • Don't be afraid to share your “perfect” birth story. It gives women like me hope.
  • Believe in your self and your convictions, even when no one else does.
  • Don't just watch what you say, watch how you say it. More often than not people will remember how you treat them, not what you said.

        I feel so blessed to have had this amazing experience and to have met all these amazing women. I can not wait to help other women achieve their goals and I hope to one day to achieve my own goal of an HBAC. I have never been so excited or had so much hope about what the future holds.


  1. OH! This is beautiful. Thank you for capturing the power of the weekend.

    I'm so sorry I missed the pic - when was it taken?

    Ok, you're in H-town. I need to ask my friends that work at Herman if they work with doulas...

    Very nice to have met you, Tara.



  2. Tara, that is absolutely beautiful! I love what you've written and I feel honored to have met you. You are wonderfully strong!

  3. Thank you so much ladies!

    Denise, we took the picture very last minute on Sunday, we tried to get it before everyone left but I guess a few already had. I suppose now we will just have to have a reunion!

  4. Lovely post ma'am! It sounds like a lifechanging event.