So that's why!

We have always let David play with the shower head (the kind on a long hose) because, well, why not? David answered that question tonight! I happened to have not been paying very close attention (my bad) when he decided he wanted to water the bathroom floor instead of just the tub! Lesson learned on my part. I'm sure he will still get to play with the shower head, I'll just pay more attention.

Let us not forget the reason he needed a bath, AKA why we feed ourselves yogurt OUTSIDE

Not what I expected...

          As Michele and I left for Austin Thursday night I knew we were going to have a great weekend. I never knew it would change my life so profoundly. Sitting in class on day one I remember looking around the room and thinking how familiar so many of the women looked. Call it kindred spirits or whatever you want but I now know we were all suppose to be there. Great or small, we were meant to impact each others lives in some way.

         I was so inspired by many of their stories. Like the woman who induced lactation to breastfeed her adopted son. A woman who spent a year of her life volunteering in Africa helping women and children affected by the Aids crisis. The women who pushed for 6 hours to achieve her dream of a home birth. Or the woman who's home birth ended in an emergency c-section yet doesn't dwell on the blame or “what if's”. I met so many amazing women but I thought a lot about these women in particular. About how strong they are and how much they have over come. For the first time in a long time, I thought maybe I could be that strong. Maybe I can finally deal with all the pain I have been harboring from my own birth. I had never even considered the fact that I could process those feelings, let alone heal them. It didn't happen all at once, but with each thing said I let go a little bit and began to heal. Today when I think of David's birth I can think of what a wonderful day it truly was and how much I have learned. Part of me is still a little sad over what I missed out on but I am not angry and I have hope for the future.

         Aside from all the healing I accomplished this weekend I also learned a lot. I'm sure as I look back and reflect I'll remember much more that I have learn, but for now here are some key points.

• Faith in someone and encouragement can take them farther then they ever thought they could go.
• Believe in the power of a woman, especially when she herself forgets.
• As Doulas we are taught to unconditionally   support people emotionally. Applying this in your everyday life can move mountains.
• Don't be afraid to share your “perfect” birth story. It gives women like me hope.
• Believe in your self and your convictions, even when no one else does.
• Don't just watch what you say, watch how you say it. More often than not people will remember how you treat them, not what you said.

        I feel so blessed to have had this amazing experience and to have met all these amazing women. I can not wait to help other women achieve their goals and I hope to one day to achieve my own goal of an HBAC. I have never been so excited or had so much hope about what the future holds.

Not exactly how I pictured...

I always wanted to be a mother. It was all I ever wanted to be when I grew up. I would fantasize about all the fun we would have and the things we would do together. I am not completely naive and I knew there would be many gross and not so fun times along the way, after all I have worked in many daycares and as a nanny off and on for the last 13 years. One thing I could never have imagined myself doing was spending and hour in the back yard, disintegrated dog poop with my high powered water hose,  while trying to keep my toddler and his bubble blowing lawn mower from playing it. I should have known this day would come. I do have an 85lb, 12 year old mutt and a 15 month old boy who loves to be outside. Somehow I was still surprised when I looked up from the pile off dishes I was working on to see David and his poop covered foot. I suppose it could have been MUCH worse. The poop only covered one foot and a few fingers, luckily I'm in good enough shape to sprint over and prevent any from making it into his mouth.

Now that I have destroyed all the giant poop mounds I can get back to my dishes, or perhaps I'll just sit back and enjoy the bubble blowing lawn mower with David.